Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Happy Birthday to my big brother David! Most people call him Dave now, but he is David to me.
He's hardworking, really smart, a good dad, can do like 4 pull ups at once, runs marathons, knows a lot about how the federal reserve works, he's resourceful, kind, loyal, has a really, really nice TV, introverted, borderline narcoleptic, dependable, has a good sense of humor, was the MVP of his high school football team playing defense, was in the Marines, loves his family, makes a wicked peach cobbler and is a damn good American. That's my brother.
Thanks for always looking out for me. Love you!
In honor of David's birthday...some Chuck Norris facts:
• Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
• Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
• If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
• Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
• Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
• A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
And another one for him and any other Jim Rome followers, the mix....